The college experience is a perfect intersection of the most freedom you have ever had up to this point in your life and the least amount of responsibilities you ever will.
It is the first time in my life, I had the ultimate say about the things and people I chose to dedicate my time to. The following post is about those people who have become an integral part of my personal development.
I’ve been lucky to have fallen into a group of college friends who I truly admire. They have completely changed the way I think about the world, how I interact with others, and what I place value on.
Amun Tanveer
Amun teaches me something each day. I have lived with him for 3 out of the 4 years in college. He is the best friend I have ever had. Amun teaches me the importance of otherness. He is not passive in his relationships. He is proactive. He remembers small details and asks about them. His mind is a rolodex of important people in his life and what triumphs or trials they are going through. He listens deeply and asks questions that force a new perspective on old problems.
The culmination of small touch points make deep reverberations. There is not an interview I have had that he has not texted me the day of and said “Good Luck. Go kill it.” My close friend group and I joke about how we can be as good of a friend to Amun as he is to us. While he does make sweeping overt gestures, he truly makes his impact in pieces over time.
He also meets people where they are. Weird example but I’ve never seen a college-aged male be able to talk to old white guys so effortlessly. I remember standing in a Starbucks line in a wealthy neighborhood in Dallas. My friends and I had caravanned down to Dallas for the College Football Playoffs and were getting our morning coffee before a day of tailgating. We had just drove 18 hours the day before so everyone was bleary eyed and not in the mood for small talk. We were wearing our University of Cincinnati polos and standing out like a sore thumb. An old non descript white dude with a TCU polo walks up to our group and asks what we think of today’s game. If it were up to me, I would have said we are confident and are poised for the big stage and left it at that. Instead, Amun gives his 3 non-negotiables that UC has to execute on to win, then follows up with a question to the man about TCU. He and this random Dallas Starbucks goer proceed to go back and forth about historic TCU football games. All the while, me and my 3 other friends exchange looks and just watch in awe as Amun becomes the son this old man never had. He can build repertoire effortlessly by meeting people where they are.
A last small detail about a conversation with Amun is he gives you his entire attention. He gives everyone the same attention no matter the stakes of the conversation. I could be talking to Amun about career moves or what mixed drinks we should concoct Friday night and he has the same buy-in. This along with Amun’s other characteristics makes him a truly special friend and a person I admire.
Trey Waltz
Trey is one of the most different cats I have ever met. If in a group conversation, someone asks a seemingly surface level question about some belief, Trey will proceed to go into detail about his reasoning behind his stance. Here is an example of a conversation we had sophomore year:
Me: “What would you do if you had a kid right now?”
Trey: “Like 9 months from now or the kid was born today?”
Me: “I’ll give you the 9 months.”
Trey: “Ok that gives me time. First I would skew my coursework in college to graduate as fast as possible. As it stands now, I am dragging out my college experience and I would completely alter that if I had a kid on the way. I would also move out of Clifton to save money on rent. Kids are expensive and I plan to financially support my new family. I would have to lock in the full-time offer at RKCA to stay in Cincinnati post-graduation. I would move back to my house in Madeira with my mom and begin the process of learning how to be a great parent. If the hypothetical mother of my child was still around, we would have sit down discussions with my mom to talk about best practices for raising a family. Finally, I would start going to therapy because with parent hood comes tons of stress and I would want to navigate that successfully.
Me: …
Trey is one of the only twenty sums I have ever met who thinks this deeply on a variety of issues. While Trey has his weird takes and quirks, he exemplifies being steadfast with your values and ideas in any situation. If there was one word I would use to describe Trey it would be principled. He interacts with the world through a set of standards he places on himself to become an impactful person.
Trey is also incredibly hardworking. He lives the idea of you win by outworking others. Whether it be the late nights he spent working as president for our fraternity to clipping 80 hours a week at a private equity firm, the dude just works fucking hard. He works hard cause he cares and it shows through to the product he produces everyday.
Another weird example but it shows the level of care and how the details shine through in his work. During the Summer going into our Junior year, Trey and I lived together in our fraternity house. We had bought an above ground pool that quickly became the bane of our existence. The hard part was keeping it clean after 30+ guys a day would spend a majority of their waking hours in it. We had a dedicated house manager who was in charge of keeping it clean but he was living at home for the Summer. Naturally, Trey took on the responsibility of keeping the pool at baseline all Summer. This involved waking up at 7am to drain it, refill it, add chemicals, and skim it all before he left for his internship at a local investment bank. Our room in the fraternity overlooked the pool and was a constant reminder to Trey of the small things he had to get right for chapter to make everyone’s experience what it was. He carried that lesson to him throughout his term and truly would not neglect the details and get it right the first time.
Seeing Trey’s level of care day to day, would inspire me to take my job in the fraternity just as seriously and a lot of other guys felt the same way. At the end of the day, we were leading a fraternity so the stakes were not extremely high. However, it is a testament to his character to show up day in day out and do the little things exceptionally.
Xander Wells
Xander is effortless. He knows his passions, leans into them, and over delivers. He has accomplished so much in college just by following his passions excellently. Xander worked as a wrangler for a canoe shop over one Summer in high school. He spent the day on the river, checking people in, grabbing their canoes, and living life one second at a time. That Summer has taught him he will only gain so much satisfaction out of a 40 hour work week in corporate America. It is why I think he has the highest ceiling out of any of my friends. He does the things in life he loves and neglects those things he does not. Whether it be founding a men’s mental health club on campus, leading our business college’s student admission program, or nationally rolling out a mental health program to our fraternity nationally, everything the guy touches turns to gold. He dives into his passions and the results follow. Him following his passions allows him to be where his two feet are each and everyday.
In conversation with Xander you will notice his baseline is very calm. He breathes slow, listens, and asks thoughtful questions. Xander is innately curious and it shines in conversation with him. Xander will lead me on a 20-minute diatribe about some random facet of my thinking due to his pointed questioning.
The person who talks the most in conversation has the better time and everyone loves talking with Xander because he enables people to share deeply through reaching questions.
Xander has a mind like a steal trap when it comes to quotes. It has happened on multiple occasions where he will casually drop a quote in conversation that I will have to stop and ask him to repeat. Here are some of my favorites:
“We got no where to be and all day to get there”
“Its not where you are, but you are with.”
“Be where your two feet are.”
“Live a great story.”
Christian Wall
Christian is wicked smart. He has a knack for processes. I have never met someone who thinks about things end-to-end the same way he does. He is pursuing a career in consulting and takes it to heart. We could be shooting the shit about anything and you see his brain switch to consulting mode. He will begin structuring out key steps in the problem and what questions it leads him to.
He also is a crazy salesman. It is a joke among our friend group that each time you ask Christian about his day it just so happens to be the best day ever. Here is a sample of what he might say if he got a haircut one day:
Me: “Sup man, how was your day?”
Christian: “My day was unreal. I had the single most important moment of my college experience when I was able to meet with the FSL director and lead the direction of this University for years to come. With so much happening at our University, we have such an opportunity to make Greek Life something truly special.
I also got my haircut at Bishops. It was my tenth haircut so I got it for free, they offered me an ice cold beer, and a fantastic haircut. I could see myself going to Dany and getting my haircut at Bishops for the rest of my life.
How was your day?”
His positive out look on the daily tasks of life is infectious. His romanticization’s has forced on a new perspective to me. I tend to think: why can’t today be the best day ever? I think that is a direct attribute learned from Christian.
In Sum
We underestimate the amount we gain through our interactions with others. It is because it happens each day; we tend to lose our ability to see the gradual impacts our closest friends make on us. Amun has enabled me to develop myself as a friend and become more proactive in my relationships. Trey has shown me the importance of hard work, being steadfast in values, and attention to detail. Xander has been an illustration on how to live life in the moment and follow your passions to success. Christian has taught me to romanticize life and think through problems end-to-end.
It is safe to say I would be no where near the person I am today without these 4 people in my life. I am proud to call them my best friends and am excited to see what we all accomplish post graduation. I have learned so much observing these men embrace life and am excited for their continued influence for years to come.